12.4.22 Jameson's heart is humongous

Yesterday Jameson and I were driving. We were talking about family. We have some really deep conversations when we drive. He brought up my Mema. Some of you remember her as Susie Lowe. She never got to meet Jameson or Grayson. I sure wish that she could have.

Anyway, he asked me what happened to her. I told him the story about her dying of cancer in our home with Hospice (an incredible group of people). Mema got to see me sober before she died. Jameson looked at me and said "Were you really sad when Mema died?" For some reason, I was taken aback by the question. I got a little choked up, and said "I really was, Jameson. But I got to hold her hand while she took her last breath."

I was staring straight ahead at the light we were stopped at. Suddenly I felt his little hand on my right arm and he was patting me. I looked over at him. He had tears in his eyes. He said "I'm so sorry, Daddy." Then he patted over his heart with his right hand while continuing to pat my arm with his left. He said "She will always be right here."

He felt my loss at that moment. He cared enough to care. He was innocent and vulnerable enough to risk his emotions. His concern was for me and not for himself. He loved me and let me know it. He knew that his touch would comfort me and that his words would take hold.

I want to be more like my sons. I admire them so much. Jameson's heart is humongous and I hope that it always is. That's why I protect his mind and his heart like I do! 

Jameson Age: 10